


It was an Accident, I Swear!

by MaureyLove



Series: Connor and Evan are too dense [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Chatlogs, Eventual Relationships, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Help, How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, M/M, My First Fanfic, Please Kill Me, Treebros, Why Did I Write This?, galaxygals, including me lmao, probs won't even do anything with this I just wanna contribute something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:02:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaureyLove/pseuds/MaureyLove
Summary: Evan is in a groupchat with Jared, Alana, and Zoe. Stupidity ensues, but what happens when Connor is accidentally added into it? Maybe something good will come out of it.(Also, AU where Evan never crushed on Zoe, but crushed on Connor instead.)





	1. An Uneventful Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first fic??? I'm horrible at writing tbh  
> Maybe it'll get better???  
> I appreciate feedback, even if it's brutal  
> ALSO yes I know chatfics are over done O O P S

**I hate you all** has 4 members active

**jaredcoolman set the nickname for Evan to pining for conifer**

becking-gay: That's fitting tbh

zoo-wee-mama: aAXWOXkMPX THATS SO CUTE

pining for conifer: no!!! 

**pining for conifer set his nickname to Evan**

jaredcoolman: EV THATS SO BORING COME ON

Evan: Like yours is any better?

Evan: Sorry.

Evan: But also, STOp TEASING ME

zoo-wee-mama: pick someone better to crush on and we wouldnt have to lol

Evan: I'm pretty sure you guys would do this regardless of who I liked.

zoo-wee-mama: to be fair, you both teased me when i was crushing on lana, so i mean...

zoo-wee-mama: payback, bitch

Evan: THAT WAS ALL JARED

jaredcoolman: nah that was all you ev, I would never do such a thing!

zoo-wee-mama: stfu jared

becking-gay: I had to do something, but.  
1\. Evan, its not our fault you're so adorable whenever we so much as even mention Connor. We HAVE to tease you.  
2\. Aww Zoe, you talked about me?

zoo-wee-mama: i mean ofc why wouldnt i

zoo-wee-mama: i love you babe, i had to let it out somewhere

jaredcoolman: Yeah ofc she talked about you, she loved to talk about all her kinky fantasies about you ;)

**zoo-wee-mama has left the chat.**

becking-gay: Jared!

jaredcoolman: LOL

Evan: Guys. I almost had a heart attack because I was walking back to the cafeteria because JARED THREW MY NOTEBOOK IN THERE and I needed the notes in it for today, and in the hall Connor just looked me dead in the eye and said something like,,, "didn't peg you as the type to skip, hansen" and just walked away amd his eyes were sooo PRETTY IM DEAD

jaredcoolman: this is not what i wanted when i said i wanted more gay in my life

jaredcoolman: this is too much gay

jaredcoolman: also his eyes are scary tf you mean

Evan: His eyes are gorgeous. I think this is the end of me. Flustered by just ONE HECKING LOOK

becking-gay: That's adorable!

becking-gay: Zoe just messaged me asking if we were done embarrassing her so she can come back.

jaredcoolman: hella

jaredcoolman: i can tell you more embarrassing stuff she actually said

jaredcoolman: it was actually p cringeworthy

Evan: GUYS I NEED HELP STILL

becking-gay: I'm not sure how to help. Maybe you should try telling him?

jaredcoolman: OMFG he just came back into class and when he saw that he just,,,

jaredcoolman: actuALLY turned hella red

jaredcoolman: and squeaked like a little girl

Evan: I CAN"T JUST DO THAT ALANA HE'LL HATE ME! I mean, we don't really talk much if at all now, so I mean, but!!! That just means I'll never get the chance to, ever, my first conversation with him will be my last, I can't do that.

becking-gay: Why not strike up a conversation in general? Me and Zoe were acquaintances before dating, so it wouldn't be weird if you started talking to him.

Evan: GIZBICIXihwnxIXONX

jaredcoolman: this bitch^

jaredcoolman: look we need zoe back bc shes the fucking voice of reason and evan's being a hoe

**jaredcoolman added Connor Murphy to the conversation**

Evan: I'm not a hoe, Jared.

Evan: WHAT THE SC(JSPJP?}"

jaredcoolman: I FUCKIGN TYPED MURPHY AND IT WAS THEE FIRST ONE

**jaredcoolman added zoo-wee-mama to the conversation.**

jaredcoolman: HOW DO I R E M O V E HIM

zoo-wee-mama: whats poppin

zoo-wee-mama: oH SHIT LOL

becking-gay: Maybe he isn't online? Look up how to do it

jaredcoolman: evan is probs on the verge of a panic attck rn, so we're gonna go home

jaredcoolman: you guys coming with?

jaredcoolman: heidi isnt home so we could all just skip and comfort the poor soul and watch movies

zoo-wee-mama: im down

jaredcoolman: down where ;)

zoo-wee-mama: wHAT 

becking-gay: Lol I'm not skipping, but I can come by after school

zoo-wee-mama: wtf gay

becking-gay: Well, you're not wrong.

jaredcoolman: Also can we get a ride zoe we're outside your car and evan is just laying in the parking lot and refuses to get up

zoo-wee-mama: i'm coming one sec  
.  
.  
.  
Connor: what the FUCK is this?


	2. A Bunch of Unnecessary Gushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk tbh I'm just making it up as I go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with my sad attempt at writing  
> I literally just got home from my jobs orientation and my brain is full of KNOWLEDGE  
> ALSO... there's a slight time shift partway through the chapter, I feel like I should mention it, it's probs obvious but, just in case??? ok

**I hate you all** has 3 members active

Connor: what the FUCK is this

jaredcoolman: hey asshole

zoo-wee-mama: what does it look like lol

Connor: is this some kind of joke? 

Connor: because i swear zoe when we get home

zoo-wee-mama: if your'e talking about Jared then yes, bc hes a joke

jaredcoolman: R U D E

zoo-wee-mama: also we're at evan's so I won't be home for a while 

zoo-wee-mama: so think again sweaty :)

Connor: ...

Connor: fine, who cares

**I hate you all** has 2 members online

zoo-wee-mama: should we just delete him?

jaredcoolman: nah, he's already seen 3 months worth of stuff, no use going back

jaredcoolman: also where the FUCk is alana 

zoo-wee-mama: ALANA GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE EVAN IS ASLEEP ALREADY

zoo-wee-mama: nvm jared jus t poured water on him and hes FREAkING out

Evan: help me lana

becking-gay: I'm coming! I had to go talk with the teacher about a club, and he said that maybe I shouldn't start a new club partway into the year, considering I'm already in a few clubs already, and I guess I just got carried away. I'll be there in a few, I just need to get my stuff together, try not to get into too much trouble! And Jared, just... stop.

zoo-wee-mama: bitch youve been typing like 3 years get on with it

zoo-wee-mama: O O P S

zoo-wee-mama: I mean, just, get over here

becking-gay: I am

becking-gay: HERE

...

**I hate you all** has 5 members active

jaredcoolman: oh my god guys guess what

zoo-wee-mama: what???

Evan: dON'T

jaredcoolman: so I spent the night at Evans right

becking-gay: Yeah?

jaredcoolman: and I get up to use the bathroom bc, well, self explanatory really

jaredcoolman: and i turn on the livingroom light because wow its dark and one time i stubbed my toe when i was over so,,, never again

jaredcoolman: And who do i see but little Evan, sitting on the couch holding his knees to his chest, wide awake at 3 am, just,.. sitting there, no tv on, nothing

zoo-wee-mama: what wHY

Evan: Jared, cease this at once

Evan: I'll tell them about the bathbomb incident

jaredcoolman: ok but i already told them, you have nothing against me

Evan: WHAT WHEN

jaredcoolman: ANYWHO BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND

jaredcoolman: I ask him what hes doing there and he said

jaredcoolman: "i couldn't sleep because i started thinking about connor and how pretty his hair is and his face and his nails and that one time that he borrowed my pencil, NOT BECAUSE HE USED IT, because that would be creepy, but the way he asked was really nice and he has such a nice voice jared"

jaredcoolman: and then he passed out almnost IMMEDIATELY after

becking-gay: That's REALLY cute.

Evan: JARED NO CONNOR IS IN THE CHAT

jaredcoolman: its not like hes even looking

becking-gay: True, it's been almost a week since he said anything, he's probably not reading these. No need to worry Evan :)

Evan: Ok...

zoo-wee-mama: Y'ALL

Evan: ???

zoo-wee-mama: connor has been glued to his phone nonstop lately and like, i didn't really think of it bc he never replied in here

zoo-wee-mama: but mom made him eat breakfast with us this morning and as soon as you sent that, he got really red and almost choked on his cereal

jaredcoolman: ;) kinky

Evan: FUCK

**Evan has left the chat.**

Connor: Fuck off zoe

Connor: THIS IS WHY I DON"T TALK IN CHAT

**becking-gay added Evan to the conversation**

zoo-wee-mama: he just turned off his phone so he'll be mia again probably

zoo-wee-mama: but hes so flustered, its... scarily adorable

jaredcoolman: adorable isnt the first thing that comes to mind when i think of connor

zoo-wee-mama: same

becking-gay: same

Evan: not same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, smash that comment button down below and tell me how bad I am at this  
> Also I lowkey enjoy writing this??? wow


	3. A Promise of... Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets SLIGHTLY more active, and gains a nickname

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hullo, can i get, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a double update?
> 
> sorry this isn't as eventful idk what im doing  
> Might either edit this a ton later unless I think of a direction to take this, I had like, ideas, but I think I'm rushing it too much

**I hate you all** has 4 members active

zoo-wee-mama: look, dear, sweet evan;;; 

zoo-wee-mama: soft, innocent, evan

becking-gay: Precious, precious Evan.

Evan: Get on with it!!!

zoo-wee-mama: you just... gotta ask him out

Evan: H

zoo-wee-mama: ???

jaredcoolman: ok evan just fell to his knees in the middle of the hall screeching what did you do

jaredcoolman: o h, nvm

Evan: I CANT

becking-gay: Evan, I'm sure Connor would say yes, youre amazing!

becking-gay: you're*

Connor: don't fuvking make assumptions about me

jaredcoolman: now he's tearing up wtf is happening

Connor: WAIT NO

**zoo-wee-mama set the nickname for Connor to ASSHOLE**

ASSHOLE: wait where are you guys i need to talk to evan

zoo-wee-mama: whomst the fuck is this, does my brother, MY brother, feel... b a d?

ASSHOLE: shut UP

Evan: hey connor wanna go on a HOT date with me and FUCK by a tree??/

zoo-wee-mama: HOLY SHIT CONNOR JUST ACTUSLLY SQUEAKed

ASSHOLE: i

Evan: That was Jared

Evan: Please don't hate me.

Evan: Oh god you probably already do

Evan: This whole chat was a mistake

Evan: Don't bother taking me home Zoe, I'll just... sleep in this locker, and become a hermit

ASSHOLE: wait 

ASSHOLE: i uh

zoo-wee-mama: what this idiot is trying to say is he wants to go out with you

ASSHOLE: I DIDN't sAY THAT

zoo-wee-mama: but its what you meant

Evan: You don't have to try to make me feel better Connor. It's okay.

ASSHOLE: sshut up and meet me at my car after school

Evan: ???

ASSHOLE: Its NOT a date, but we can hang, idfk, just, fuck, be there

jaredcoolman: a whole lotta fuck

jaredcoolman: sounds pretty...

becking-gay: D o n ' t

jaredcoolman: kInKy ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet


	4. Additional Chats for No Good Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much of everyone overreacting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is both moving really slowly AND fast at the same time, I'm just unsure where to take this plotwise, and I just have odd ideas written down and just, plop them on a page
> 
> Enjoy?

**Evan created the chat: the gaytastic four**

**Evan added jaredcoolman, zoo-wee-mama, and becking-gay to the gaytastic four.**

Evan: GUYS

zoo-wee-mama: why the fuck is there another chat

Evan: I need a place to actually discuss Connor without actually dying 

becking-gay: I mean, you could just delete Connor from the other chat?

Evan: Then he'd message me asking if I hate him and then he'll never talk to me again and then he'll never like me back

Evan: Not that he'd like me back anyways but like

jaredcoolman: ev you two have been on like a date each day this week

zoo-wee-mama: is that where he's been lately???

Evan: They weren't dates! We're just hanging out, for you're information. He's probably just doing it because you guys pressured him.

becking-gay: Evan

 **I hate you all** currently has 5 members active

ASSHOLE: GUYS why haven't you been talking

ASSHOLE: youre all online stop ignoring me damn 

jaredcoolman: ev please stop freaking out, literally everyone here knows he's EXTREMELY gay for you, as much as I love skipping with you I have a test next hour, just, calm yoself

ASSHOLE: wait why is he freaking out

jaredcoolman: WRONF CHAT

ASSHOLE: wait

ASSHOLE: Evan I need to talk to you

becking-gay: Hi, Connor!

ASSHOLE: NOT YOU DAMN IT

ASSHOLE: fuck I'm coming to bail you out, stay there

becking-gay: :(

 **the gaytastic four** currently has 4 members active

jaredcoolman: so I uhhh... fucked up???

zoo-wee-mama: JARED WE'RE HAVUNG A MOMENT

jaredcoolman: waIT WHAT'S HAPPENING 

becking-gay: HOLY SHIT

jaredcoolman: w h a t is happening I'm in class

zoo-wee-mama: OKAY SO

zoo-wee-mama: Evan was FREAKING OUT and getting negative to the point I needed to get him out of there, I tried the breathing exercise shit that jared does w him all the time but it wasn't working

becking-gay: This wasn't that unexpected, Connor literally said he was coming

zoo-wee-mama: CONNOR WAS RUNNING THE FASTEST I'VE EVER SEEN AND SLIPPED AND CRASHED INTO EVAN AND THEN STARTED HOLDING HIM BECAUSE HE FELT BAD ABOUT HURTONG HIM

jaredcoolman: if that ain't the cutest shit I've heard all day

jaredcoolman: are they kissing yet

zoo-wee-mama: Idk probably, he carried evan outside, said he was gonna take him home to calm down

jaredcoolman: to evans house or yours?

zoo-wee-mama: he didn't say but I think he's been over our house the past few nights

zoo-wee-mama: there's been really loud giggling late at night but I thought either Connor was watching vines or he was high and laughing at the wall again

becking-gay: Does the latter happen often?

zoo-wee-mama: not much, evan complained once that he didn't really like the smell of it but didn't wanna be rude and he hasn't been doing it as much

zoo-wee-mama: to be fair he's almost always with even so probs not at all actually

becking-gay: goals

jaredcoolman: now he gets high off Evans love

Evan: We can stop using this chat now. I'm gonna fall asleep soon, so I'll talk to you guys later.

**ASSHOLE created the chat: h e l p**

**ASSHOLE added zoo-wee-mama, jaredcoolman, and becking-gay to h e l p**

ASSHOLE: please help evan is asleep on me and i think i like him

jaredcoolman: bitch finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be asleep I have to get up for work in like 5 hours lol  
> Might drastically change once I'm home this is so bad


	5. Connor and Evan, the Densest of all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But when aren't they dense in regards to feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got home and I had a ton of thick packets of info to read so that's all that's in my head  
> But maybe this won't suck too much

**h e l p** currently has 3 members active

ASSHOLE: ok so what do I do

zoo-wee-mama: look it's pretty obvious evan likes ypu, its literally everywhere in the main chat

ASSHOLE: look, I know you guys were joking

ASSHOLE: i just... don't want to ruin things with him

zoo-wee-mama: we werent??? Joking??? I already told you that?//

ASSHOLE: and if you tell me one more time im gonna get fucking pissed

becking-gay: What makes you think we're joking? 

zoo-wee-mama: i swear if you say you're too broken im leaving this chat, im leaving this house, and I'm leaving this fricking planet

ASSHOLE: its just that he's... so GOOD

ASSHOLE: like,

ASSHOLE: even when I get really fucking pissed and he should leave, he sticks around, and tries to help, and even if I snapat him he still doesn't leave

ASSHOLE: and like

zoo-wee-mama: and..?

zoo-wee-mama: its been like 5 min connor come back

ASSHOLE: every fucking time I freak out and want to do something bad he does some shit, like he'll randomly text me to say something weird and cutethat I shouldn't care about and normally would annoy me if it was anyone else but it just makes me smile, or i'll see something he left in my room and instantly im less angry, not completwly obv but still. like I have nothing to offer him, and maybe i AM fucking broken, i worry that he's just hanging out with me to make me feel better because im just... idk  
Never fucking mind just, if I keep talking I'll either get too self depreciative or i'll get too gay and either option is fucking weird, I just, I really like evan

**zoo-wee-mama has left the chat**

**ASSHOLE added zoo-wee-mama to the chat**

ASSHOLE: I AM THO

**zoo-wee-mama sent a picture.**

ASSHOLE: GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING

ASSHOLE: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING WJEN YOU SAID YOU'D LEAVE THE HOUSe

zoo-wee-mama: relax Im going to lanas 

becking-gay: We have date night tonight :)

ASSHOLE: ew

zoo-wee-mama: we're just gonna watch some movies and then fall asleep stfu

**jaredcoolman sent a picture.**

jaredcoolman: hi welcome to chilis 

becking-gay: Why didn't you tell us you and Evan were going to dinner? We could've joined you :(

 **I hate you all** currently has 5 members active 

ASSHOLE: why are you taking my boyfriend on a date smh, step off

Evan: You have a boyfriend?

ASSHOLE: SHIT

ASSHOLE: W R O N G C H A T

Evan: Why were you hiding this from me?

Evan: I'm so sorry, god, I must've been a bad friend if you didn't trust me enough to tell me

Evan: I mean it's not my business so I mean you weren't obligated to tell me anything I'm sorry

ASSHOLE: IT WAS A JOKE, I'M SINGLE

jaredcoolman: single and ready to mingle with a certain,,,tree boi

Evan: Who's that?

Evan: WAIT I did it again, it's not my business to know

Evan: But I'm sure they're nice if they like trees

Evan: Trees are beautiful, speaking of which, I messaged you some pictures Connor, if you wanna check them later, it's ok if you don't have time to, but, they're my top 5, so I just thought, maybe, well, uh, nvm, just check

**jaredcoolman set the name for Evan to tree boi.**

ASSHOLE: you know you kinda remind me of a tree

tree boi: What why

ASSHOLE: just... don't think on it too hard

becking-gay: I think he's trying to call you beautiful :)

tree boi: IRODjzgdiUuJ

jaredcoolman: don't kill my date jeez

tree boi: I

tree boi: idk whats hsppening but,,, im gonna finish my food and go home and hide forever, sooo, stop, teasing me, my heart, can't take it??? 

jaredcoolman: ev said he's turning off his phone

jaredcoolman: but also he keeps smiling and blushing and it's too much

jaredcoolman: please come take this baby away i don't wanna hear how much he wants to kiss the loser

becking-gay: He's not a loser :(

zoo-wee-mama: yes he is 

ASSHOLE: god damn it, evan is actually going to KILL me someday

zoo-wee-mama: that's cute

jaredcoolman: y'all talking about how cute I am

zoo-wee-mama: shut up jared

becking-gay: Shut up, Jared

ASSHOLE: shut UP jared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of drawing art for this chapter to go in the spots where it mentions pictures??? Maybe tomorrow  
> But until then, it's implied that Zoe's pic is her driving off, and Jared's is of him and Evan at Chili's  
> Also I love the comments so far! I know I'm not the best writer but I appreciate the feedback, it makes my day


	6. We All Have Bad Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a bad day, but not for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this is, just take it

**the gaytastic four** currently has 3 members online

zoo-wee-mama: Evan

tree boi: ?

jaredcoolman: sorry for snapping at you earlier ev

jaredcoolman: I have notes from class if you wanna copy them, I know I said some shitty stuff but

jaredcoolman: do you need me to come over

treeboi: No, and it's alright, I've just been stressed lately, I overreacted 

jaredcoolman: don't say that. I was being shitty

tree boi: Its ok, really. I'm not really feeling it today, but can we hang out tomorrow?

jaredcoolman: is chipotle mah life?

tree boi: What?

jaredcoolman: https://youtu.be/e56MuzEGZm4

jaredcoolman: (the answer is yes)

zoo-wee-mama: sorry, I just got out of a yelling match.

jaredcoolman: ooo drama with lana?

zoo-wee-mama: no

zoo-wee-mama: Evan you need to control your boyfriend

tree boi: We aren't??? Dating???

tree boi: But god I wish that were me 

zoo-wee-mama: hes been pissed lately and overall just a ducking pain in the ads

zoo-wee-mama: fucking*, ass*, but, oh the fuck well

jaredcoolman: kinky

zoo-wee-mama: he won't even say why he's pissed, usually he'll blurt it out but he's just been cooped up in his room or in the hall yelling at everyone

zoo-wee-mama: has he mentioned anything to you?

tree boi: No, he hasn't been talking to me for the past few days :( Every time I would approach him he'd ignore me

jaredcoolman: that bitch, being rude to MY baby evan? TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP

tree boi: Jared no!!! He's not being mean, he doesn't even glare, he just looks sad

tree boi: Jared?

 **I hate you all** currently has 4 members active

jaredcoolman: hey fuckboi, stop being a dick to Evan

ASSHOLE: fuck off. 

jaredcoolman: COME BACJ AND FACE YOUR PROBLEMS LIKEA MAN

zoo-wee-mama: BE A MAN

jaredcoolman: WE MUST BE SWIFT aS THE COURSING RIVER

tree boi: Connor, I'm coming over

ASSHOLE: please don't hansen

zoo-wee-mama: B E. A. M A N. WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

tree boi: I'm outside, open up

ASSHOLE: please jusy LEAVE 

tree boi: Oh my god

tree boi: You're gonna hate me for this

tree boi: I'm climbing this tree and jumping in your fucking window

tree boi: Sorry.

jaredcoolman: my child, please do not swear

...

 **I hate you all** currently has 5 members active

**zoo-wee-mama sent a picture**

becking-gay: IS THAT

jaredcoolman: gross

zoo-wee-mama: idk what happened but I took a peek in his room because con kept giggling and I figured it was safe 

zoo-wee-mama: IT'S NOT

tree boi: WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHINF

zoo-wee-mama: are you guys actually dating now?

tree boi: He probably doesn't even like me

ASSHOLE: ev I just confessed AND kissed you wtf doyou MEAN

tree boi: A kiss cheek is platonic!

ASSHOLE: ok we just checked in bc Zoe was laughing evilly, me and ev are gonna...

ASSHOLE: actually, I dont fucking know what we're gonna do, but, leave usthe fuck alone

ASSHOLE: also, I uh, i guess im sorry for yelling zoe? ok now fuck off

jaredcoolman: WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT 

ASSHOLE: ???

jaredcoolman: remind evan he owes me 20 bucks

ASSHOLE: for what?

becking-gay: Evan bet Jared $20 that you didn't like him like that

ASSHOLE: he's too cute. and an idiot.

tree boi: Should I be flattered or offended?

zoo-wee-mama: big mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life is irrelevant but wow;;;  
> I'm gonna seriously doodle stuff to maybe fill in for the spots where there are pics sent, when I get home tomorrow, because today was just, so much things happening
> 
> Edit: taking another day or two to update, I've never worked a day in my life, so this new job is killing my legs  
> I'm off Saturday tho so I'll have time to update and maybe draw, but my art isn't that great


	7. Are you Dating Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group discusses Valentine's day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am HOME and in pain  
> Also if you haven't seen, I wrote a sorta side thing that relates to this story somewhat, and it's not NECESSARY, but chapters 2 and 3 are somewhat relevant, and have more context to the situation. The one friend I told about this fic liked my idea for it but said it might be cool to mention it in the chat aspect? So here I am  
> Lemme know if it's good or bad, love you guys :)

**h e l p** currently has 4 members active 

zoo-wee-mama: so are you and evan dating yet

ASSHOLE: damn, hitting me with that this early in the morning?

becking-gay: It's... 1 in the afternoon, Connor.

ASSHOLE: my point still stands 

jaredcoolman: ok but answer, I need the deets

zoo-wee-mama: aren't you in his class rn jared?

jaredcoolman: no I went home sick lol

zoo-wee-mama: Oh

ASSHOLE: we aren't, i wanna wait until sometime special 

ASSHOLE: it sucks that I couldnt ask him for valentines

zoo-wee-mama: yeah, but by next one you'll be able to make it up to him, and it'll be better than that one v day lol

ASSHOLE: wgat?

ASSHOLE: which valentines?

becking-gay: Freshman year?

ASSHOLE: oh yea, the year the class pranked me and i fucking relapsed haha

jaredcoolman: ...

zoo-wee-mama: he didn't tell you?

ASSHOLE: who didn't tell me what?

 **I hate you all** currently has 5 members active 

jaredcoolman: EVAN

tree boi: JARED

tree boi: Hi :)

zoo-wee-mama: WHY DIDNY YOU TELL HIM ABOUT VALEN TO NES

tree boi: WAS I SUPPOSED TO???

ASSHOLE: W H AT. IS. HAPPENING.

zoo-wee-mama: if you guys are gonna be dating soon you can't just hide things like that 

tree boi: I wasn't??? Hiding??? It just never came up???

ASSHOLE: ?????

tree boi: OK so

tree boi: I was the one who left all those notes and bought you that flower freshman year. I didn't mean for everyone else to make fun of you for it, and I was scared that you wouldn't believe me if I mentioned it was me, and I didn't want you to hate me, so I just, never did. I also didn't mention it when we started talking recently, because like, how weird would it be to say I've liked you almost my whole life??? God I'm such a weirdo I'm sorry

jaredcoolman: i mean you're kinda weird but not bc of that

tree boi: ... Thanks Jared :)

tree boi: At least I think that was some reassurance

jaredcoolman: im all about that fucking validation hour

tree boi: Connor?

tree boi: I know it was weird but please answer

tree boi: FUCK

zoo-wee-mama: ev do you need one of us to come seeyou? 

becking-gay: I'm on my way to go print something so if you need me I can come! I'm good at bullshitting, so I can think of an excuse to get you.

zoo-wee-mama: isn't it hot when she's such a polite rebel

jaredcoolman: ew

jaredcoolman: I meant to say ev but that works for that, stop being gay when hes freaking out

zoo-wee-mama: sorry

becking-gay: Evan?

zoo-wee-mama: im supposed to be taking a test rn I can't check on him

becking-gay: ZOE MURPHY YOU BETTER NOT BE CHEATING

zoo-wee-mama: I'M NOT im just really invested in this drama

jaredcoolman: im a slut for drama

tree boi: h

jaredcoolman: ?

zoo-wee-mama: what happened???

tree boi: Apparently Connor really liked the fact that I liked him for so long, and the fact it wasn't a joke

becking-gay: And?

tree boi: So he skipped class to come and kiss me

jaredcoolman: oh my god

becking-gay: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

tree boi: The teacher got mad at him for interrupting since we were also taking a test and sent him to the principal's office

zoo-wee-mama: LOL

zoo-wee-mama: is he gonna get detention

tree boi: I don't know, but she had to drag him away and he yelled from down the hall "PLEASE be my boyfriend!" And then the class wouldn't shut up so she postponed the test to tomorrow

tree boi: He's so perfect and sweet

jaredcoolman: honestly only you'd find that sweet, this whole thing sounds like a crappy tv comedy

zoo-wee-mama: https://youtu.be/J83lw0eFIJA

jaredcoolman: n o

zoo-wee-mama: *awww track plays*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet


	8. Connor is Gay (unsurprisingly)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I get some, uhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhghhh, an angst large? With a side of fluff?"
> 
> "Would you like to supersize that angst?"
> 
> "FUCK NO"
> 
> ...  
> -checks receipt-
> 
> "Damn they forgot my angst"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: bad f word in here, if that bothers you
> 
> Im really unsure of where I wanna take this fic, just because, I have no ideas, well, nvm that's a lie, I have a couple more things I wanted to do, but otherwise, might end it in a few? Who knows  
> There is another fic I wanted to start, even tho it's slightly also overdone, so maybe you'll see something later today??? Idk

**I hate you all** currently has 4 members active 

becking-gay: Jared, the teacher is mad at you, you should come back

tree boi: WHAT happened

tree boi: I say what in all caps so often that it autocorrects to that,,,

becking-gay: Jared told the teacher he had to use the bathroom, but we were doing some activity and she said he can, but he'd have to read a paragraph first from the packets we had

becking-gay: And he just... looked really uncomfortable and yelled "WHAT UP, I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ"

tree boi: Jared, I'm disappointed in you

jaredcoolman: I had to GO 

jaredcoolman: really badly

tree boi: I'm disappointed bc that wasn't the line

jaredcoolman: ???

jaredcoolman: O H

jaredcoolman: nah I couldn't swear or else I'd get in trouble

becking-gay: You're already going to get in trouble!

jaredcoolman: what can i say, im a troubled child

zoo-wee-mama: speaking of troubled children, have any of you seen my brother

tree boi: He isn't troubled :(

jaredcoolman: Oh my GOD evan 

becking-gay: I have multiple classes with him, but I haven't seen him all day.

zoo-wee-mama: damn it 

tree boi: What happened? Is he alright?

zoo-wee-mama: mom texted me asking where he is because he didn't come home last night

zoo-wee-mama: o didn't realize bc I ride with alana in the morning now

zoo-wee-mama: fuck

jaredcoolman: did something happen at home?

zoo-wee-mama: I know SOMETHING happened but that doesn't tell me WHERE he went

tree boi: If he's upset, he's probably at the orchard, I'm gonna try to call him

tree boi: ALSO I'm by your car Zoe so please come here

zoo-wee-mama: omw 

jaredcoolman: group trip to help the spicy boy? sign me the fuck up

becking-gay: If he's been there all day he probably hasn't eaten, I'll bring him my lunch

zoo-wee-mama: no offense babe, but your lunches suck

tree boi: He said he was ok, he didn't hurt himself or anything, but he doesn't want to go home

jaredcoolman: welp, I have 20 bucks, let's go buy him some food, he ain't dying, he can wait

zoo-wee-mama: if Alana isn't ready soon we're leaving without her

becking-gay: I HAVE NO STAMINA, WOMAN

jaredcoolman: ;)

becking-gay: SHUT

jaredcoolman: I have arrived

zoo-wee-mama: jare you're literally right in front of us, we know 

jaredcoolman: Alana was like, a few MILES behind me

tree boi: Be nice, me and her are slow people :(

jaredcoolman: ??? You're the fastest person I know wtf 

tree boi: Also I'm low key freaking out so I can't really??? Speak??? Sorry

tree boi: So I'll be answering here instead of, real words 

tree boi: Of course it's because I'm worried

tree boi: Connor likes chipotle

tree boi: He's a burrito boy

tree boi: I mean, if it wasn't spicy then sure I'd want his burrito 

tree boi: Why are you laughing?

tree boi: I'm very sensitive to spice it's not funny guys

tree boi: We could get him some Chinese food, he likes that

tree boi: That joke doesn't even make sense Jared.

tree boi: Well wherever we go can we order inside, I need to use the bathroom

tree boi: I CAN'T GO IN ALONE WHAT IF YOU GUYS DRIVE OF F AND THEN I'M ALL ALONE AND LOST AND DON'T GET TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND

ASSHOLE: ev calm down

ASSHOLE: Also why are you talking to yourself

tree boi: mY BOUFRIENSD

tree boi: !!!

tree boi: I LOVE

jaredcoolman: for the love of god we are ten minutes away hold your gay ass horses

tree boi: WAIT TEN NINUTES??? ARE YOU LEAVING WITHOUT ME

jaredcoolman: wouldn't dream of it babe

ASSHOLE: step off my man 

zoo-wee-mama: So while we wait for mr. I-pee-for-3-hours, what happened

ASSHOLE: I'm uoset

jaredcoolman: no shit sherlock

ASSHOLE: shut

zoo-wee-mama: seriously tho

ASSHOLE: I was in a weirdly good fucking mood

zoo-wee-mama: yeah I know that part 

ASSHOLE: and I told mom that Evan was my boyfriend

zoo-wee-mama: yeah but mom is nice??? 

ASSHOLE: LET ME TELL THE DAMN STORY

tree boi: Calm down sweetie, its ok

ASSHOLE: thanks babe

ASSHOLE: so I poured my heart out to her, and tried to apologize for how I've been, even though I know it won't completely stop, it's just how I am, and like, we fucking hugged, she cried, the whole sappy shebang, and she was happy I had Evan, saying he was a great kid, and we'd be perfect, and how happy she was that I came to her

tree boi: :)

ASSHOLE: and then Larry walked in and my mom was like "Oh, sweetheart, Connor got a-" bc she realized she can't tell him, bc Larry is a big gaping asshole

ASSHOLE: and he started yelling demanding that we tell him, and when she didn't say, he started yelling that I've been happy lately

ASSHOLE: too happy apparently, so it has to be drugs, I must've moved onto something worse than weed if I'm not smoking weed abymore

ASSHOLE: and then my mom thought telling him the truth was better than him thinking it was drugs and he just

ASSHOLE: he froze and said I wasn't his son anymore

ASSHOLE: said that he didn't raise his son to be a damn fairy fag

ASSHOLE: then he demanded that I stop seeing you

ASSHOLE: so I left, and when I came back later to try to at least be civil, he had went through all my stuff, threw away all my nail polish, my sketchbooks, and said I had a haircut appointment tomorrow at 4, because apparently THAT'S the reason I am what I am, and if he just gets rid of it all then I'll be straight, I'll be fucking normal

tree boi: :(

zoo-wee-mama: fuck larry 

jaredcoolman: not to ignore all that but, well be there in a few, so we can talk about it irl 

tree boi: Also we got you some Chipotle, since unless you ate rotten apples, you need some food

tree boi: And a blanket so we can just hang for a while

tree boi: OH and I brought your spare hoodie you always leave in my locker since I think it rained earlier for a bit and I don't want you to be cold and wet

ASSHOLE: we? Is fucking everyone coming here?

jaredcoolman: well yea??? Duh

ASSHOLE: thanks, guys.

ASSHOLE: you're the best.

ASSHOLE: please don't crash into that fence damn it

zoo-wee-mama: evan makes an entraaance

zoo-wee-mama: I love when he tackles con like that

jaredcoolman: ok before I forget

**jaredcoolman changed the nickname for ASSHOLE to burrito boi**

burrito boi: nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .y  
> ..e  
> ...e  
> ....t


	9. It's Healthy to Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Treebros are sad, but that's ok sometimes
> 
> Also, Jared opens up a bit.
> 
> (Fluff fluff fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SORRY I know my update times isn't horrible but it's inconsistent and please forgive me

**the gaytastic four** currently has 4 members active 

zoo-wee-mama: guys I'm worried 

jaredcoolman: when aren't you lol

tree boi: What's wrong?

zoo-wee-mama: I think con is smoking again and I know it's just weed but it really fucked him up before and I dunno what to do

becking-gay: Why do you think he's doing it? I didn't notice anything.

zoo-wee-mama: his eyes were really red today and like, I know he's been getting better but

zoo-wee-mama: hes been oddly nice today, like, almost like the niceness he has when he's high

zoo-wee-mama: Idk

becking-gay: Maybe he was crying?

jaredcoolman: and then him and ev got freaky after and that's why he's so happy 

tree boi: ...

zoo-wee-mama: con doesn't cry, even when we were little he never cried

jaredcoolman: ??? Ive seen him cry wym

zoo-wee-mama: W T F

becking-gay: So have I!

tree boi: Same

jaredcoolman: didn't he spend the night at your place ev? Was he acting weird?

tree boi: W-well...

jaredcoolman: your stutter is cute but over text it's just weird

tree boi: You think my stutter is cute!!! Aw 

jaredcoolman: I'VE TOLD YOU THIS ALREADY??? FOR A WHOLE MONTH???

zoo-wee-mama: gay

jaredcoolman: I mean... sorta?

zoo-wee-mama: wym we're all gay 

jaredcoolman: yeah I mean, I am gay, but I've been like, thinking about some stuff lately

tree boi: Is something wrong?

jaredcoolman: I think I'm aro??? Idk, like, looking back on our relationship ev, and like, the reason I never really care for being in a relationship, I think, that relates

zoo-wee-mama: relationship???

becking-gay: I thought everyone knew you guys dated?

tree boi: To be fair, Alana knows everything about everyone.

tree boi: But I support you Jare-bear!

jaredcoolman: idk maybe I'm being stupid

jaredcoolman: I think I'm gonna lay down for a bit

tree boi: I'm coming over!

jaredcoolman: you don't have to

tree boi: I want to.

zoo-wee-mama: Jared, you know we all support you, it's not stupid, but also, back on topic, do you know what's up with Connor?

zoo-wee-mama: shit that was insensitive s o r r y

jaredcoolman: no its k, I don't like the attention 

tree boi: Connor was in a bad mood when he came over

tree boi: So I convinced him to talk for a while

tree boi: And it got kinda emotional

jaredcoolman: more like EMOtional

zoo-wee-mama: don't make me come over too and fucking love and appreciate you

jaredcoolman: DON'T YOU DARE

zoo-wee-mama: ok but anywho, Connor had red eyes when he got home recently, if you guys talked at the start, it should've gone away by now 

becking-gay: The timeline is flawed.

tree boi: Well uh, we did some... stuff first

zoo-wee-mama: stuff?

tree boi: Not to be rude, but like, it's not really your business??? 

tree boi: Just, he's not high, I can assure you.

zoo-wee-mama: sorry ev

zoo-wee-mama: I was just worried

tree boi: It's ok

tree boi: Also please open your door Jared!!!

jaredcoolman: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM I'M SORRY 

zoo-wee-mama: so if you're aro does that mean your relationship with bathbombs is purely platonic or is it sexual

becking-gay: Probably sexual.

tree boi: Jared has the cutest laugh tbh

jaredcoolman: I CAN'T BREATJE

zoo-wee-mama: also shouldn't connies laugh be your fav?

tree boi: There's a hierarchy of my favorite laughs, all in their own categories and subcategories

tree boi: Connor has the best overall laugh, the perfect amount of loudness, and there's so much emotion in it, and it's like, if you were deaf for years, and all of a sudden you could hear music, the most beautiful melody, and it's always so unexpected, it makes my heart so warm, and I still remember the first time I heard him fully laugh, I started crying, and he was so confused, I was just so happy to hear something so amazing

zoo-wee-mama: that's really gay 

becking-gay: What about Jared?

tree boi: He just has a cute laugh. Especially when he hears something really funny that he doesn't wanna admit is funny, he does this really loud snort and his whole face goes red, like when you said the bathbombs thing 

jaredcoolman: DON'T EXPOSE ME

jaredcoolman: ok two things then

**jaredcoolman changed the gaytastic four's name to: the gaytastic three and their aromantic enemy**

becking-gay: Nice rhyme

 **I hate you all** currently has 5 members active 

**jaredcoolman sent a screenshot.**

burrito boi: that's really gay

burrito boi: but you too tbh, your laugh is my fucking life force

burrito boi: why am i not in that chat tho?

tree boi: UM

jaredcoolman: why isn't ev in h e l p?

tree boi: What does that sentence mean?

burrito boi: U M

zoo-wee-mama: y'all are oblivious 

burrito boi: no??? We're fucking dating, how are we oblivious 

becking-gay: You guys love eachother so much it's actually funny

tree boi: He probably doesn't even like me tho

burrito boi: what? ?? you're my boyfriend??? I literally proved how much I liked you last night???

zoo-wee-mama: *squints* 

jaredcoolman: listennn, you do realize who Evan is right

jaredcoolman: on your wedding day, when the dude asks you to say I do, ev will probs say "I do, but he probably doesn't even like me :/"

jaredcoolman: and when you say I do he'll freak out, like "You do?! We've been together for years but I thought you were just joking to make me feel better"

jaredcoolman: no offense 

tree boi: Honestly, big fucking mood

burrito boi: W E d DINg?

zoo-wee-mama: Connor is fucking dead lol

tree boi: God I can't wait to marry Connor

burrito boi: USOWLDNXOSOZKDEM

jaredcoolman: gay

becking-gay: Gay

zoo-wee-mama: gay

tree boi: <3

burrito boi: h

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop laughing at that one bmc animatic for the play, you know which one 
> 
> And all the April fool's animatics were beautiful 
> 
> I love musicals and art

**Author's Note:**

> yeet


End file.
